The Struggle to Express Yourself in All the Ways
random verse & some little updates
Tragedy.
It is inevitable, it is happening all around us, and that is difficult to accept as reality.
It is especially challenging when juxtaposed with lifestyles of convenience, safety, and even the simplest of joys.
Dissonance.
To know that you have peace and safety in your life when others do not.
It creates confusion and even a sense of guilt, that you are not doing or saying enough.
And while there is never an end to tragedy and darkness, we must continue on living, finding the magic in the little corners of our lives. In this moment I’m thankful for many things, and mostly the little ones.
I wanted to open this edition with a piece of art that sends loving energy to all.
It is colder now, most mornings. A feeling I crave in the hot summer months. Going out at dawn whether to walk, or sit, or draw, is a staple in my days.
From now on whenever someone asks me, “What’s your favorite color?”
I will answer, “Morning,” with certainty behind my breath as the word leaves my lips.
A New Video :)
I’m excited about this one — I put a lot of extra time into the edits, carving it into an inspirational mini-movie vlog. I hope you enjoy it! Come along for morning reflections, behind the scenes, and cozy conversation in my most recent YouTube video here.
Practice = Growth
I’ve been exploring self portraits more again recently, mostly for the sheer enjoyment of self expression, but also to illustrate my newsletters and YouTube video thumbnails with a personal touch.
This is the self portrait as a photograph, before adding the illustrative style. I love this version for the simplicity and felt a bit like Snow White as I laid here for a while, which inspired the birds.
The past two years, I have been working diligently to merge my photographic and illustrative style into one, as I’m still really evolving as an artist.
The Struggle (to Express Yourself in All the Ways) is Real
I write. A lot. I take photographs. I make illustrations and dabble in film.
Yikes.
It’s a lot. I spend hours a day creating, and when I’m not doing that, I make voice notes about whatever is on my mind to reference for later use, whether a writing piece or a visual piece.
Then I tell myself I’m not doing enough. Or sharing enough.
But I am. And so are you.
Let yourself get lost in it. Don’t worry about sharing.
For me, it’s an obsession.
I love it more than anything!
Then I’ll ask myself: why are you even doing this?
And I want to give up, tuck my tail between my legs, and disappear from the internet forever. The thing is…
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to expression.
There is no stopping. It’s impossible to quit.
Let that sink in a bit.
It’s literally coiled up inside our DNA, our need to express.
And when we don’t, we suffer.
I’m not talking about sharing 24/7 on social media, either.
(Yes, Substack is also social media. I’ll remark more about that later, and how I’m just not ever going to use Notes as a space for daily updates like I’ve used every other social platform. It’s tempting, though). Moving along…
The freedom to express yourself, unfortunately, gets twisted up in others’ expectations of us. It also gets twisted up in our expectations of ourselves.
There are no rules — be everything.
Do it in the way that works for you.
Do it all.
Try it all, see what feels good.
Speaking of which, I have an essay series on the way.
It’s called Gradients: How Our Spirit Shifts Our Spaces, and there are three parts. Inspired by our relationship with color, and Taylor Swift. Kind of. I’m not a Taylor Swift fan, but she got me thinking about some things that go really well with this series.
The first essay will greet you in your inbox sometime next week.
Until then, friends <3